Category Archives: inspiration

Are you smelling my crotch?

Baby talk is cute now, isn’t it?  When you see the perfect little face with the perfect little smile and you hear the perfect little “coo”, you just know what’s gonna happen next… Your face contorts, your lips pucker out, and you let out a high pitched squeal.  Following this comes a whole bunch of jumbled cutesy words we have come to know as the dreaded “baby talk”.

OK, now imagine that cutesy little face is on a DOG…  and if you love animals like I do you won’t be surprised to know that, YES, I baby talk them too.  In fact, I can’t help myself.

A year ago I decided to watch a neighbor’s dog for a month while he was hospitalized.  The dog was so extremely matted and dirty that I totally had to get her groomed and cleaned up.  She was a shitsu so this breed needs frequent trips to the groomers. I cleaned her up, walked her three times a day, took her to parks, and gave her lots of love.  While I know she was loved before, the poor old man who was her “human daddy” had trouble taking care of himself, let alone his dog.  So I invested in her happiness.  Her happiness made me happy.  Her fitness was my fitness as we took short runs together down the street.  Her comfort was comforting to me.  Her peace was my peace.  Animals truly bring peace and love to those around them.

Needless to say, when I had to give her back, my heart broke into a million pieces.  BUT for that month she WAS mine… she was a “wittle, cutesy wootsy doggy” with the “cutest wittle face”.

The “cutesy wootsy” and I were on our way out for a walk so we took the elevator going to the lobby of the building.  For some reason she couldn’t stop smelling my crotch.  Now don’t get any ideas about me… I’m as clean as a whistle… (not that that’s any of your business anyway!)  Back to the story… Instead of getting annoyed I baby-talked my way down to the lobby.  “Are you smelling my crotch?  Are you?  You silly doggy.  Are you smelling my crotch?  Oh yes you are!  Yeah you are you silly girl.  Are you smelling my cro…”  I was so involved in my conversation with the dog that I hadn’t realized we had reached the lobby about halfway through our discussion about my crotch.  We were no longer alone.  Two people waiting for the elevator heard what I can honestly say was an extremely intimate moment between me and my dog.

But do I regret it?  “Do I regret it?  No!!! No, you silly wittle gooses, of course not!”

Baby, oh baby!

Seems everybody is having babies.  Everywhere you look you see another pregnant woman and millions of tiny people running around with snot hanging from their noses.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE children.  At times, I consider myself one.  I just find that most of the people my age are living life in a zombie-like, sleep deprived state of being due to these little beings that occupy their every moment.  And I find myself being everybody’s favorite Aunt, which means I get to babysit, wear stain resistant clothes, and start every conversation with “Sweetheart”, “Baby”, or “Don’t Do That!”. I used to regard my friends as fairly intelligent beings… but now it’s all about the best preschools, mommy-and-me yoga, play dates, and discussions on what not to say in front of the children.

Obviously, I don’t have children.  I have lots of experience with them… maybe that’s why I don’t have them.  Do cats count?  If so, I have 2 feline babies and I didn’t gain a pound in the process.  Now that’s being smart, sweetheart!Image

Country Mouse/City Mouse

I am a City Mouse

I was once a city mouse, The playground was the street

I climbed and ran and jumped, on concrete beneath my feet.

I ran into the sprinklers, on hot, sticky summer days

And tanned upon the asphalt roof, to soak in all the rays.

In wintertime I bundled warm, and fought away the blues

I dreaded the rushed subway ride, with slush under my shoes.

Over time I became a country mouse, or some may say “small city”

I drank in sunny rays down south, at first it didn’t fit me.

After time the vitamin D soaked in and I grew warm

The creases in my mouth grew deep, a smile it did form.

With the city life behind me, but not forgotten yet

I always said I missed the pace that city life could set.

I am again a city mouse… BY LOCATION!

But the country mouse inside of me… NEEDS A VACATION!!!

Smile always,

-Julie

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My legs are moving, but there are no pedals under my feet.

I used to teach fitness classes 6 days a week.  My most favorite being cycling (or some call it spinning).  If I taught more than two a day my mother would crack the joke that I was “recycled”.  She’s cute, isn’t she!!!

At 36 years young, I threw myself a curveball.  I made a decision to change my path in life.  This path led me back home, across several states, to the home I grew up in.  I had a destination, but no direction…  My life is in sheer chaos and I am holding the pieces together.  Let’s just put it this way, I am not recycled!!!  And I miss it!  WIthout exercising daily my center is a little off to the left.  I recently started teaching boxing and pilates classes at local gyms and this past week I finally got my big break and received a cycling class. (Perseverance baby, perseverance)

Now let me tell you, I am used to a pretty smooth ride on nice new bikes and this was nothing of the sort.  I had to prove myself in a class with old beat up bikes and no microphone.  I was told the only way I can keep the class is if I win them over.  (No pressure… really!?!?)  So what did I do???  I won them over!  And I did it with style.

I am picking up the pieces.  I will not fall, I will not break!!!  I love myself too much to give up.  I am at a crossroads and what I do now can either build me up or break me down.  I will cycle my way to better physical, mental, and emotional health because baby, that’s the only thing right now that is keeping my pieces together…

Smile my friends,

-J