Category Archives: cats

Are you smelling my crotch?

Baby talk is cute now, isn’t it?  When you see the perfect little face with the perfect little smile and you hear the perfect little “coo”, you just know what’s gonna happen next… Your face contorts, your lips pucker out, and you let out a high pitched squeal.  Following this comes a whole bunch of jumbled cutesy words we have come to know as the dreaded “baby talk”.

OK, now imagine that cutesy little face is on a DOG…  and if you love animals like I do you won’t be surprised to know that, YES, I baby talk them too.  In fact, I can’t help myself.

A year ago I decided to watch a neighbor’s dog for a month while he was hospitalized.  The dog was so extremely matted and dirty that I totally had to get her groomed and cleaned up.  She was a shitsu so this breed needs frequent trips to the groomers. I cleaned her up, walked her three times a day, took her to parks, and gave her lots of love.  While I know she was loved before, the poor old man who was her “human daddy” had trouble taking care of himself, let alone his dog.  So I invested in her happiness.  Her happiness made me happy.  Her fitness was my fitness as we took short runs together down the street.  Her comfort was comforting to me.  Her peace was my peace.  Animals truly bring peace and love to those around them.

Needless to say, when I had to give her back, my heart broke into a million pieces.  BUT for that month she WAS mine… she was a “wittle, cutesy wootsy doggy” with the “cutest wittle face”.

The “cutesy wootsy” and I were on our way out for a walk so we took the elevator going to the lobby of the building.  For some reason she couldn’t stop smelling my crotch.  Now don’t get any ideas about me… I’m as clean as a whistle… (not that that’s any of your business anyway!)  Back to the story… Instead of getting annoyed I baby-talked my way down to the lobby.  “Are you smelling my crotch?  Are you?  You silly doggy.  Are you smelling my crotch?  Oh yes you are!  Yeah you are you silly girl.  Are you smelling my cro…”  I was so involved in my conversation with the dog that I hadn’t realized we had reached the lobby about halfway through our discussion about my crotch.  We were no longer alone.  Two people waiting for the elevator heard what I can honestly say was an extremely intimate moment between me and my dog.

But do I regret it?  “Do I regret it?  No!!! No, you silly wittle gooses, of course not!”

Sleeping with Cats

He nestles within the covers in a comfortable cocoon.

She curls up on my legs and purrs a happy tune

And when they are all cozy, warm, and sleeping in my bed

There is nowhere for me to move or lay my tired head.

As soon as I fall fast asleep the sun comes peering in

The room is filled with sunlight but I want to sleep in

She tickles me with whiskers and pounces on my chest

He tips over my alarm clock and wakes me from my rest…

Smile Always,

-J

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